my writing

My brother birthday!!!

On the 5th of October it was my brother birthday the people who come to my brother birthday Me,Mum,Jay,Ben and Tyran. We went to 3 different places, MacDonald, the skate park and another park.

We got home for Auckland it was my brother birthday the first thing that we did was go to McDonald for lunch what i have at  McDonald I had a cheese burger and chips and then we play on the playground for a bit.It was full of little kids which was boring, but we could run around and play tag.

After we went to mcdonalds we went home to chill and had a cake and we had to go out. I can’t really remember what the cake was like, but I know I liked it.

Later that day went to a stake park in Riccarton. It is just a park where you can skate.  At the stake park we watched my brothers do stuff there. They were doing scooter tricks, they were pretty good at doing the tricks.  Me Mum and Jay were joking around, telling jokes and laughing at my brother falling of his scooter. He kept doing tricks and falling which made us laugh as he kept saying “that was a mean trick”.

Then we went to another park. This one had a stake park too, but was smaller than the other one as it had another playground in it. Then we went on the playground, I went on it this time. We stayed there for a bit and then went home and chilled.  

That was all we did for my brothers birthday. It was a fun day he enjoyed it because he got to go to the skate park, so he was happy.

Reflection:

I think that I created an interesting piece of writing because…I write a good story

For next time I could spend more time on…the ening

In my writing, I would like to improve...my wow words

amazing time out -Draft

amazing time out

What: go to the beach

When: Wednesday 1 week of the  school Holiday
Where: summers beach

Who: me ,Ben ,tyran,jay and mum

Why:because mum and jay plan to

How: jay drive us there

One sun hot wednesday day on the 1 week of the school holiday  me my two brothers ben and tyran ,jay and mum  went to summers beach for a amazing time out from our house we arrived at the beach we get out for the car.

There was a pool and a beach we run to the pool we got

mum in the pool “mum said it too cold” then  we went swimming for a long time. Then we got out for the cold pool then went to the beach we running away for jay next we went swimming in the beach.

We went  in the car and went a playground i play spy on mum and jay after i spy we went to climb trees next we went have lunch for we have mcdonalds after we have lauch we went to the playground mum and jay come on the playground we play  spy on the ben and tyran it was awesome play spy on ben and tyran.

We went to climb trees mum take photos of us in the trees  one tree had a face on it. After climb trees we went for a long walk around the playground in we went for a long drive we had stop at mcdonalds  to get  drinks in we went jay’s dads house for 2 or 4 hours.

Then we went to the some playground this time we are play all together we play i spy and climb trees mum ever climb trees it was amazing time next we went to playground and play on it then my brothers play on the skatepark.

Then we went to the to shop and i got hair diy but it was 8 wash out the color was green then we  went home a 1 hour to do my hair and then we leave home  so we went to the beach for long time this jay in the water .

We took some photos in we went to get ice cream after the Ymm ice cream we went back in the cold water it was like an ice cold water but the it was hot but not to hot .

We went to jay friend's house for 2 hour she was awesome  she gave us some food and a drink then we leave after at we went to timezone.

At timezone we play game after that went to get some food  time was 6:00  so had kfc for tea then we to this park rock wall i climb it then we walk for 1  hour round this thing it was amazing then we went to the mall