My recount writing

Here is my recount writing  it is about my recount writing My brother birthday.  

It is im best work so far hope you enjoy it read it

My brother birthday

On the 5th of october it was my brother birthday the people who come to my brother birthday Me,Mum,Jay,Ben and Tyran. We went to 3 different places, Macdonalds, the skate park and another park.

the first thing that we did was go to McDonald for lunch what i have at  McDonald I had a cheese burger and chips and then we play on the playground for a bit.It was full of little kids which was boring, but we could run around and play tag.

After we went to mcdonalds we went home to chill and had a cake and we had to go out. I can’t really remember what the cake was like, but I know I liked it.

Later that day went to a stake park in Riccarton. It is just a park where you can skate.  At the stake park we watched my brothers do stuff there. They were doing scooter tricks, they were pretty good at doing the tricks.  Me Mum and Jay were joking around, telling jokes and laughing at my brother falling of his scooter. He kept doing tricks and falling which made us laugh as he kept saying “that was a mean trick”.

Then we went to another park. This one had a stake park too, but was smaller than the other one as it had another playground in it. Then we went on the playground, I went on it this time. We stayed there for a bit and then went home and chilled.  

That was all we did for my brothers birthday. It was a fun day he enjoyed it because he got to go to the skate park, so he was happy.

Reflection:

I think that I created an interesting piece of writing because…I write a good story

For next time I could spend more time on…the ening

In my writing, I would like to improve...more wow words

I hope you enjoy my recount writing

can you please lave a comment

Bye now 😊

The nightmare in space

W.A.L.T: writing a narrative

I tried my personal best. Next time I'll write more. What is it about? It is about a chimp who goes to space because the humans sent him. We have been working on this piece of writing  of 5 weeks. Please leave a Comment

Here is a link to the video   

It’s not a Planet, it’s

our home.

The nightmare in space

W.A.L.T write a narrative.

The nightmare in  space   

In 1961 a chimp named Max got trained and he was getting ready to go into space the next day. Max got launched into space because the human wanted  to see how long a chimp can stay in space for. It was safer than sending a human.

Max  was asleep  for 65 years. Max woke up to see the photo of his trainer and he didn't remember where he was .

Then  he went back to sleep and then Max  woke up and saw milky way the color was Gloomy  Bright light green ,red and yellow  it was very pretty .

Green and blue then I think it was earth it is earth .

Then I think  to himself it earth and grinned then thought to himself, “I am go back to home to see my family. Max is  like a human because  Max does human stuff  and I was alone in the rock.

Max push the something then the rock went the wrong way but Max not known he went the wrong way then the rock went into the shaking then he push the same thing was   he push it then the rock landing then Max look around and  saw no one they then he think I went go the wrong way.

The dirt was still  so l couldn't see what I was do  then I said Jeff where are you I miss you please come out wherever you are it is me max.

Then I  go to town and  keep run and  run until I see something it look like a hospital I went to it then I saw people then I saw Jeff  in bed  I couldn't believe went I am see right now is this true “but Jeff are you hurt” “max am oh okay what about you” “I okay thanks.

Then I went back to the other chimps and then see family waiting there for me so they  could gave me a huge then there  say I miss you max   I went in to where the food was then I see delicious food but who was the food for me and my family or other chimp’s but I onlong saw my family then a bed get  take to another room was that Jeff.

Then I say this can’t be true I closed my eyes then open my eyes it was a dream it turn.

Jeff Jeff what are you do to Jeff please don’t hurt him.Sorry they was war and Jeff got very very hurt.

Then Max went to my family and Max said “did you got hurt”no we didn’t because Jeff was take care of us”. That had he got hurt bey be back. “Jeff you were take care of family that had you get hurt is it”.”Yes I didn’t know how to tell you Max”.”Oh okay”. I close my eyes then I opened my eyes it was all fake.  

first draft for my space chimp here is a link for what am writing
I hope you enjoy this please Comment on my blog thank you.

It’s not a Planet, it’s

our home.

The nightmare in space

W.A.L.T write a narrative

The nightmare in  space   

In 1961 a chimp named Max got trained and he was getting ready to go into space the next day. Max got launched into space because the human wanted  to see how long a chimp can stay in space for. It was safer than sending a human.

Max  was asleep  for 65 years. Max woke up to see the photo of his trainer and he didn't remember where he was .

Then  he went back to sleep and then Max  woke up and saw milky way the color was Gloomy  Bright light green ,red and yellow  it was very pretty .

green and blue then I think it was earth it is earth .

then I think  to himself it earth and grinned then thought to himself, “I am go back to home to see my family. Max is  like a human because  Max does human stuff  and I was alone in the rock.

Max push the something then the rock went the wrong way but Max not known he went the wrong way then the rock went into the shaking then he push the same thing was   he push it then the rock landing then Max look around and  saw no one they then he think I went go the wrong way.

The dirt was still  so l couldn't see what I was do  then I said Jeff where are you I miss you please come out wherever you are it is me max.

Then I  go to town and  keep run and  run until I see something it look like a hospital I went to it then I saw people then I saw Jeff  in bed  I couldn't believe went I am see right now is this true “but Jeff are you hurt” “max am oh okay what about you” “I okay thanks.

then I went back to the other chimps and then see family waiting there for me so they  could gave me a huge then there  say I miss you max   I went in to where the food was then I see delicious food but who was the food for me and my family or other chimp’s but I onlong saw my family then a bed get  take to another room was that Jeff.

Then I say this can’t be true I closed my eyes then open my eyes it was a dream it turn.

Jeff Jeff what are you do to Jeff please don’t hurt him.sorry they was war and Jeff got very very hurt.

Then Max went to my family and Max said “did you got hurt”no we didn’t because Jeff was take care of us”. That had he got hurt bey be back. “Jeff you were take care of family that had you get hurt is it”.”yes I didn’t know how to tell you Max”.”oh okay”. I close my eyes then I opened my eyes it was all fake.  

first draft for my space chimp here is a link for what am writing
I hope you enjoy this please Comment on my blog thank you.

It’s not a Planet, it’s

our home.

Amazing Space Chimp

Space chimp  it is about a chimp going to space in 1961. He got stuck in space for 65 years .

My worst day ever

The worst day ever (First Draft)

W.A.L.T recall  events through the eyes of an animal.

Success Criteria

• I will describe an event or series of events in chronological order.  
• My writing will be about a main idea and have a focused purpose.
• I will provide information about who, what, when, where, why, and how the event happened.
• My recount will show how I have reflected on personal experience.  
• I will include details that describe how I felt and what I thought.
• I will describe the event using my five senses.

First draft

            The worst Day ever

It’s a beautiful day in December in  south Africa I am out walk with my family  the sun is shining around  the river  is in south Africa    I am Happy. I am look for some food and water. We are stop for a  drink . aI feeting safe around my dad  he is the Lull for   hard  ofor buffalos and my mum is the over Lull of the hard for buffalos . Then we stop for a sit time because we get seol leg’s.

I was walking along the river  bank , I saw dad stop  in his tracks, I smell danger in the air Then I saw a pride of lions ,then my dad  said  run.  So we run  and the lion’s were running after me . The lions got  me and I lose control  then I fall in the then water  I  with a big splash   I am  feeling sracy .Then the lions are pull me out of the water . Then the crocodile  snap  my  tile  the lions  and crocodile  are have I tug war over me . Then the lions start eat  me  then I hear a big scream  then I saw the hard of buffalos.  Then my family safe me be by pocket   the lion's .  At last I am back with my family  and I am feeling  good .